Bullying is real. But why do children bully? And what can parents and teachers do about it? Should we just leave it or tell our kid to toughen up? What does the research say about it?
Research Sources: Impact of name-calling ; Parental verbal aggression
Ehh Chotu Master
Yeh episode isliye ban raha hai kyonki aap mein se ek parent ne yeh sawaal poocha. Ke mere bete ki height choti hai. Mein usko kaise tackle karoon? Kya jawaab doon? Kyonki school mein bache usko pareshaan kar rahe hai. bully kar rahe hai.. Mein motivate karne ki koshish kar raha hoon. Woh pareshaan hai. To as a parent mein kya kar sakta hoon?
To maine reply kiya ke actually bachey ki choti height ka isse koi lena dena nahin hai. Almost sab log kabhi na kabhi bully hote hia - koi choti height ke liye, koi pimples ke liye, koi mere jaise lambe baalon ke liye.
Mere baal lambe hai, to chote hote Delhi ke mere school mein bachey gaate the - order order order sardar ji ke joore mein 2 kilo powder. Mein tab 8 saal ka tha. Mujhe yaad hai mujhe bura lagta tha. Lekin yeh yaad nahin ke maine ya mere parents ne kaise tackle kiya.
Lekin abhi to hum research kar sakte hai.
Aap ek curious parent hai. Aur agle paanch minute mein bachon ke baare mein baat karenge.
Hum baat karenge ke bache bully kyon karte hai aur koi bully ho raha hai to woh kya kar sakta hai. Aur ismein parents ka kya role hai.
Mere bachpan ki mujh par hui bullying ka aaj mujhe impact nahin dikhta. Isliye yeh kehna mere liye bahut aasaan hai ke bullying mein kuch karne ki zaroorat nahin hai. Apne aap theek ho jayegi.
Lekin research prove karti hai ke yeh sahi nahin hai. Aap kissi ko din raat agar loser bolegeto uska mann maan sakta hai ke woh loser hi hai.
Hamare brain ke baare mein adbhut cheez yeh hai ke woh birth ke baad bahut develop hota hai. Humans ki success ka ek bada karan maana jaata hai hamare brain ka paida hone ke baad develop hona. Baaki animals ke saath aisa nahin hai. Hamara brain itna underdeveloped hota hai ke hum chalne mein 12 mahine lagte hai. Hamari personality, IQ in sab ko develop hone mein time lagta hai. Yeh isliye hai kyonki hamari brain ki wiring form hoti hai hamare bachpan ke experiences se, environment se.
Lekin is environment mein bullying bhi aati hai jo ke hamare bachon ki wiring ko impact kar sakti hai.
Bullying mein 2 characters hia. Ek jo bully kar raha hai aur ek jo bully ho raha hai. Chaliye in dono ko samajte hai.
Bache alag alag wajah ke karan bully karte hai. Chaliye aise chaar scenarios ko dekhte hai
Ek example mein lena chahata hoon bache ko correct karne ka. Maan lijiye aapke bache ne bola - I don’t like Bhagyashree, she’s south Indian. So we can say - ehh kya matlab south indian, what does that mean? But isse bacha defensive ho jayega. Theek kuch nahin hoga, aapke saamne bas bolna chor dega. Par ek doosra tareeka dekhte hai - hmm lagata hai tum south india ke sab logon ko jaanti ho aur tumhein koi bhi aacha nahin lagta. Yeh kaise? Have you met everyone in south india?
Kaise kissi ko bina mile hum bata sakte hai hai. Aapko bhagyashree ke saath khelna nahin aacha lagta woh theek hai, lekin mujhe nahin lagta ke south india ka isse koi bhi lena dena hai.
Ab jo bache bully ho rahe hai un mein se kayi bachon ko bully hone se fark ji nahin padta. They just don’t care. Kyonki unka khud ka aatmvishwaas itna high hota hai ke koi kuch bhi bole woh andekha kar dete hai.
Yeh baat humko har bachey ko samjhani hai. Ke agar koi aapko chotu ya bewakoof bol raha hai to problem us bachey ki hai jo bol raha hai. Us bachey ka confidence khud mein kam hai to woh aapko keh raha hai. Us bachey ne abhi tak seekha hi nahin hai ke bachey different different hote hai - kissi ke lambe baal hote hai, koi gore hota hai, koi kaala hota hai, koi lamba hota hai, koi chota hota hai. Usko pata hi nahin hai. Tum usko bolo ke uski thinking ko theek kare.
Bullying rokne ke 2 aur chote aur best tareeke hai
Research ne prove kiya hai ke agar bachey taiyaar hote hia bully ko respond karne ke liye to unpe kam asar padta hai.
Kabhi kabhi mujhe lagta hai ke meri beti bully hai. Aur kissi ko nahin to humko to bully karne ki koshish zaroor karti hai.
Mera naam Harpreet hai. Aapne mere saath apne bachon ke liye 5 min bitaye iske liye mein aapka shukrguzaar hoon.
Phir milenge.
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