Prashansa ke nuksaan

Aapka bacha kuch puzzle solve kar raha tha aur usne kar di. Woh aapko dikhane aaya aur aapne bola, wah tum kitne hoshiyaar ho, bahut aacha. Aapne apne saath baithe mitr ko bhi bataya, dekho mere bete ne kitna aacha puzzle solve kiya hai? Ismein kya galat ho sakta hai?

Is prashansa ka kya koi nuksaan ho sakta hai? Yeh sawaal ka hum agle 5 min mein jawaab lenge.

Bahut saal pehle ek researcher ne ek bahut imp sawaal poocha. Usne poocha ke 'ek bacha jismein kaabiliyat hai, woh kyon asafalta ko dekh kar maayoos ho jaata hai.

Jabki doosri aur aise bachey hai jinko choti asafalta ke bawajoob bhi utsah aata hai ke mein diye gaye problem ko solve karoon' In donon bachon mein kya fark hai?

Yeh sawaal yeh researcher jinka naam Carol Dweck tha usne poocha aur research kiya. Unhone schools mein jaa ke aise bachey dhoonde jo ke choti asafalta par aas chor dete hai. Matlab agar unhone maths ke problem dekhe jo unse nahin ho paa raha hai to woh jo maths ke problem pehle kar paa rahe the woh bhi karna chor diye.

Aise bachon mein se aadhey bachon par unhone experiment karna shuru kiya aur unhein samjhaya ke woh sirf isliye nahin solve kar paa rahe hai kyonki unhone mehnat kamm ki hai. Unhein protsahan diya aur mehnat karne ka. Kuch mahino mein yeh bache maths problem solve karne lage aur aage bade. Jabki jin bachon ko yeh nahin samjhaya gaya tha woh wahin rahe gaye. Is experiment se unko confirm hua ke 'bache ko kyon lagta hai woh fail ho raha hai' isse bahur fark padta hai.

Agar bachey ko lagta hai ke usmein sharamta nahin hai isliye woh fail ho raha hai, to woh fail hota rahega. Lekin agar bachey ko lagta hai ke kyonki usne mehnat nahin ki hai enough, isliye woh fail ho raha hai, to woh bacha try karta rahega problem solve karne ki. Ek aur experiment mein Carol Dweck ne un bachon ko pakda jo try karte rehte the aur unhein bola ke problem solve karte hue unke dimaag mein jo vichaar aa rahe hai, woh woh bolte rahe.

Aise bachey jo try karte rehte hai, unke vichaar sunke Carl Dweck ne jaana ke in bachon ko kabhi lagta hi nahin ke woh fail ho rahe hai. Unko bass maza aata hia kaam karne mein, aur woh sochte hai ke yeh nahin chala, chalo mein kuch aur try karta hoon. Hamari common sense bolti hai ke jin bachon mein yogyata zyada hai, unmein confidence bhi zyada hoga. Lekin aisa nahin hai. Yeh tabhi tak sach tha jab tak woh fail nahin hue. Failure ke karan sab change ho jaata hai.

Tab researchers ko realize hua ke woh bache jo seekhne ke liye kaam kar rahe hai, woh kaam karte rehte hai, lekin jo bachey 'khali parinaam' ke liye kaam kar rahe hai, woh parinaam waala kaam karte rahenge chahe woh kuch seekhein ya nahin. Aise bachon ko har naakaamyabi se lagta hai ke mere mein sharamta nahin hai. Jabki jo bacha seekhna chahata hai, usko naakaamyaabi se lagta hai ke aur seekhne ko mil raha hai to chalo aur dhyaan se karte hai. Aap soch rahe honge lekin is sabb ka prashansa se kya lena dena hai. Koi bhi bacha yeh soch ke paida nahin hota ke mere mein itni hi kaabiliyat hai, isse zyada nahin.

Yeh woh bacha hai jisne khud se chalna seekha, khud se bolna seeka. So bacha seekhne ke liye kaam karga ya prashansa ke liye yeh ghar ke badhon pe nirbhar rehta hai. Prashansa sabko aachi lagti hai. Jo aapka bacha puzzle solve karke aaya tha usko aapne bola - tum kitne kaabil ho. Woh khush hua, usne socha, mere ander kaabiliyat hai. Isliye maine yeh puzzle solve kar liya.

Ab kal ko usse koi puzzle solve nahin ho raha to woh sochega, mere ander itni kaabiliyat nahin ke mein yeh waala puzzle solve karoon. Meri kaabiliyat kamm hai. Jabki fark sirf mehnat ka hai. Kaabiliyat ka nahin. Yeh to humne apni prashansa se uske dimaag mein daal diya hai. To jab bachey ne puzzle solve ki aur hamare paas aaya, agar hum usko bolte ke arey mein tumko dekh raha tha, tum ek ghante se try karke solve kar rahe the, bachut aacha. To bachey ne sikha ke yeh puzzle ka outcome meri mehnat ka fal hai.

Agli baar jab woh kissi puzzle par atkega to sochega ke aur mehnat karni padegi. Kaabiliyat fix ho jaati hai. Mehnat to bacha kitni bhi kare kam hai. Aapne prashansa ki, lekin kaabiliyat ke nahin ki, mehnat ki ki. Aur yeh prashansa sahi prashansa hai. Yeh sahi protsahan hai. Prashansa parinaam ki nahin honi chahiye, prakriya ki honi chahiye. Yeh zaroori hai.

Prakriya mein mehnat aati hai, dossron se madad maanga aata hai, nayi nayi cheezein try karna aata hai. Yeh sab cheezein prashansa layak hai, kyonki yeh fixed nahin hai aur bachey ke liye protsahan ka kaam karti hia. Is tarah se sochiye: Prashansa ek spotlight ke tarah hai jo aap bachey par daalte hai. Phir jaab aap chale jaate hai to spotlight bhi aapke saath chali jaati hai.

Lekin protsahan bachey ke saath rehta hai aap chahe aas pass ho ya nahin. Prashansa hai: Mujhe tum par garv hai.

Protsahan hai: Tumne bahut mehnat ki. Tumne khud par garv hona chahiye.

Prashansa hai: Mujhe tumari ki drawing aachi lagi. Protsahan hai: Tumne kitne saare rang use kiye hai apni drawing mein. Mujhe inke baare mein aur batao.

Hum bachon ko bolte hai - Mujhe tumhari yeh drawing aachi lagi - Mujhe tum par garv hai - Tum kitni samajdaar ho - Mujhe aacha laga ke tum hamesha samay par aate ho Yeh sab prashansa hai. In sabko hum protsahan mein badal sakte hai. - 'Mujhe tumari drawing aachi lagi ko' ki jagah hum keh sakte hai 'mujhe apni drawing ke baare mein batao' - 'Mujhe tum par garv hai' ki jagah hum keh sakte hai 'tumhein khud par garv hona chahiye' ya 'batao tumne yeh kaise kiya' - 'Tum kitni samajdaar ho' ki jagah hum keh sakte hai ke 'tumne bahut mehnat ki. tumhein aacha laga hoga' - 'Mujhe aacha laga ke tum hamesha samay par aate ho' ki jagah hum keh sakte hai ke 'tum hamesha time par aate ho, isse hum class theek se shuru kar paate hai' Prashansa ki jagah protsahan karna aasaan nahin hai, kathin hai.

Practise zaroori hai. Ek bahut basic difference hai 'mujhe aacha laga' ko 'mujhe dikha ke' mein badalne mein. Aapko kaisa laga yeh imp nahin hai, aapne kya dega yeh imp hai. Yeh basic fark hai prashansa aur protsahan mein. Yeh basic fark hai ke aapka bacha kaisa banega - woh jo mushkilon se dar ke aage problem solve nahin karega ya jo mushkilon ko dekh ke khush hoga, ke chalo aaj kuch aacha karne ko mila.

Mera naam Harpreet hai. Aapne mere saath apne bachon ke liye paanch min bitaye iske liye mein aapka shukrguzaar hoon.

Phir milenge.