Sabse Zaroori Baat
Jabb meri beti 2 saal ki thi to hum ek play area type jagah mein gaye. Choti si jagah thi, 10-15 bachey khel rahe the. Wahan pe ek plastic ki slide thi. 1-2 feet oonchi. Rang birangi si, 2-3 steps hote hai jis pe. Sab bachey woh slide kar rahe the.
Bachey sab 2-3 saal ki umar ke hi the. To meri beti ne bhi play area mein khelna shuru kiya. Ek baar slide kiya aur phir waapis bachon ki line mein lag gayi. Is baar lekin woh slide pe chad ke baith gayi, neechey nahin jaa rahi. Wahan se baith kar idher udher dekhne lagi.
Sab chote bachey the. Ab peechey ke bache thoda rone lage. Uoooo aann hone laga. To mein baitha raha. Phir ek do min mein sab parents dekhne lage ke yeh kiska bacha hai.
To maine Diya ko bola ‘beta slide karo’
No dadda
Beta slide karo
No dadda
Ab sab dekh rahe the. To mujhe sharam aa gayi aur maine usko utha liya. Woh zor zor se rone lagi. To mujhe aur sharam aayi ke mera bacha aisa hai.
Aur mein usko utha ke room se bahar le gaya.
To kya hua yahan pe?
Aap ek curious parent hai. Aur agle paanch minute hum parents ke baare mein baat karenge.
To chaliye ek baar phir se dekhte hai ke kya hua.
Sharam kisko aayi? Mujhe.
Kyon?
Kyonki mujhe laga ke wahan jo parents hai woh mujhe judge kar rahe hai honge. Mere bachey aur mere baare mein kya soch rahe honge.
Bachon ko chor diya hota to kuch figure out kar hi liya hota. Kissi ne thoda sa dhaka diya hota, ya thodi der mein khud se slide ho gayi hoti. Ho jaata kuch na kuch.
To meri beti ko zabardasti wahan se uthana was not actually about her. Yeh uske baare mein nahin tha.
Isliye kyonki humein lagta hai ke hum bachon ke behaviour ko react karte hia.
Par sach to yeh hai ke humara reaction to hamari khud ke feelings ko hota hai. Woh feelings which come up inside us when we see the behaviour of the child.
Kyonki jab hum yeh realize karte hai ke our reaction is to our own feelings, we know that this is actually about us, the parent, and not about the child. Hamara reaction hamare baare mein hai.
Hamara bachpan kaisa raha, humne aaj tak kya seekha, hamare kya dar hai yeh sab bahar aa rahe hai bachey ke action ke karan. Aur hamara reaction hamari feelings ko lekar hai.
Yeh response bache ke baare mein nahin hai. Yeh hamare baare mein hai. Ke hamare ander yeh feeling aa rahi hai ke baaki log mere bachey ke baare mein kya soch rahe honge.
Aise bahut saare example hai jisse yeh baat clear ho sakti hai.
Maan lijiye aapka ladka hai, lekin ladkiyon ke kapre pehanna chahata hai. Aap bolte ho - arey yeh kya kar rahe ho. Log kya bolenge. Aisa kaise. Yeh bachey ke baare mein nahin hai. Hamare baare mein hai.
Hum apne bachon ke behaviour ko respond nahin karte. Hum us behaviour se hamare ander jo feeling generate hoti hai usko respond karte hai.
Bachon ko pata hona ke that we are comfortable with who they are zaroori hai. Lekin uske liye pehle humein khud se comfortable hona padega. Apni ander aa rahi feelings se comfortable hona padega. Khud ko jaan-na padega. Aur khud ko sahi se jaan-ne mein bachey hamari madad kar karte hai. Isliye bachon ke saath rehke mein to khud ke baare mein bahut seekhta hoon.
Agli baar bachey ko kuch karte dekh kar aapke ander koi feeling aaye to aap bhi react karne se pehle thoda ruk kar sochiye. Khud ko jaaniye.
Mera naam Harpreet hai. Aapne mere saath apne bachon ke liye 5 min bitaye iske liye mein aapka shukrguzaar hoon.
Phir milenge.
