'My child is a little shy.' Most parents have said it at some point. But what does your child hear? What does SHY really mean? What is the difference between SHY and INTROVERT? This and more in 5 min.
Bacchon pe label | My child is shy
Jo incident ki mein baat karne waala hoon, mein kissi parent ko nahin jaanta jiske saath yeh incident ya aisa incident na hua ho.
Aap ek curious parent hai aur agle paanch min hum bachon ke baare mein baat karenge.
Aap apne bachey ke saath lift mein jaa rahe the. To lift ek floor pe ruki. Ek auntie lift mein aayi. Unhone aapko aur bachey ko dekha, smile kiya. Aapne bhi smile kiya. Hello bhi hui. Aapka bacha thoda aur aapke pass aa ke khada ho gaya. Phir autine ne aapke bachey se poocha - hello beta aapka naam kya hai. kaunse school jaate ho.
Koi jawaab nahin.
Hi beta - aapka naam kya hai
Koi jawaab nahin.
Auntie ne aapko dekha. Aapne bache ko dekha. Phir auntie ko dekha.
Phir aapne bola - Thodi shy hai. She’s shy.
To lag gaya label. Shy ka.
Famous American psychologist Dr. Becky jo ke 15 saal se counselling kar rahi hai unhone bola ke kya shy ka matlab courageous ho sakta hai? Yeh thought ko samjhane ke liye unhone apne do counselling sessions ke baare mein bataya
Chote bachey doston ke saath na khele to shy. Aur bade bache ke liye hum chahate hai ke doston ki baaton mein na aaye. Confidence ho khud mein. To matlab agar chote bacha bhi khud se akele mein khush hai, apna khel raha hai to woh bhi courageous hi hua na.
But label humne laga diya hai. Or shayad confident bachey ko shy bana diya hai.
Yeh shy waala kaam khali parents nahin karte. 3 saal pehle hum kahin khane gaye the to meri beti ko pyaas lagi. So I said beta, go get water. Meri beti ne mujhe bola: Dadda I can’t do. I am shy. I asked ke arey how do you know that, kisne bola. She said: my teacher said, she is shy. .
Hum ‘shy’ label ko bahut lightly use karte hai. Lekin research mein SHY hota kya hai.
Shy bache ka pehla sign 4 months of age pe pakda gaya hai. Ek 4 mahine ka bacha generally nayi cheez, mobile, ya naye toy ko dekh ke khush hota hai, respond karta hai but kuch bache sankat mein aa jate hai, peeth oonchi kar ke rone lagte hai hai. Yeh bachon ko researchers ne jab 10-12 saal follow kiya to woh genuinely shy bache nikle. Jab MRI ki to dikha ke brain mein jo part hai amgydala woh average logon ke same part se zyada respond karta hai.
Aur shy and introvert bache mein bhi fark hai. Same nahin hai. Introvert woh hote hai jinko khud ke saath samay bitana pasand hai. Kitaab leke padne lage ya lego tower ghanton tak banate rahe. Unko akela rehna aacha lagta hai. Shy bache woh hai jo ke social interaction karna chahate hai lekin yehi interaction unke liye stress ka karan bhi hai.
Aise bache bahut kam hai. Aur most bachon pe yeh laagu nahin hai.
Jabb hum apne bachey ko shy keh rahe hai to hum uspe spotlight daal rahe hai jo humein problem lagta hai. Bacha ki caring, sensitive nature, observation power in sabko bhool rahe hai. Yeh bhool rahe hai ke khushi, darr, dukh, joy ki tarah shy hona bhi ek feeling hai, personality nahin. Lekin bache ko hamari baat sunke lagta hai ke woh shy hai.
To agar aapko lagta hia ke aapka bacha mix nahin ho raha. To pehli baat to yeh ke yeh aapka vichaar hai. Isko bachey ka mat banaiye. Kuch bhi karne ki zaroorat nahin hai. Lift waali auntie aur apne bachey ki taraf bass smile kar lijiye.
Dr. Becky ne ek tareeka bataya jo woh use karti hai. She said ke jab bhi unhein lagta hai ke unka bacha shy hai, ya unse chipat ke baitha hai to woh khud se kehti hai: My child is the confident one. Baaki bachon ko dekho. Crowd ko follow kar rahe hai.
Hum aisi duniya mein reh rahe hai jahan extrovert hona, zor se baat karna, hello hi karna aachi cheezein maani jaati hai. Aur kamm baat karna reserved rehna thoda negative maana jaane laga hai. Isliye aajkall bachey ko shy bolne se shyness ke saath shame ki feeling bhi jur sakti hai.
Agar baat yahan pahunch gayi hai ke sun sun ke bache ko ab lagta hai ke woh shy hai to bache ki hum madad kar sakte hai. Usko bata ke
Aur bacha phir bhi bole ke no mamma I am shy to aap bachey se baat kar sakte hai ke
Aur khud ko bata ke ke Shyness Courage hai.
Shy ek label hai. Mera bacha shararti hai, yeh padta nahin hai, shy hai. Yeh negative labels hai.
Positive lagne waale labels bhi hote hai. ‘Rahul bahut aacha bacha hai. She’s a good girl. Well behaved’. School teacher kehti hai. Inka matlab generally hota hai ke bacha sab sun ke leta hai, waise hi behave karta hai jaise bade chahate hai. Kabhi apne dil ke nahin karta.
Jis bachey ko shararti bolenge woh shararti hi banega. Shy waala shy.
Labels ek aasaan tareeka hai jaldi se kuch bolne ka. Lekin dangerous tareeka hai. Negative ho ya positive - bachon pe label lagana bahut aasaan hai. Lekin nikalna mushkil. To inko na use karein to behtar.
Mera naam Harpreet hai. Aapne mere saath apne bachon ke liye 5 min bitaye iske liye mein aapka shukrguzaar hoon.
Phir milenge.
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