Should we beat kids? May be not always but once in while might be ok? Does beating kids lead to a better child? Are there any negatives of beating children? Let’s talk about this together.
Research sources:
Physical punishment of children
Corporal punishment and elevated neural response
Effect of spanking on the brain
Ek doonga laga ke
Mera naam Harpreet hai. Aur hum agle 5 min bachon ke baare mein baat karenge.
Kaafi logon ko lagta hai ke bachey maarne se sudher jaate hai. Kya hai sach hai?
Hum bhaavnaon par nahin jayenge, ke maarna nahin chahiye, bachey ko takleef hoti hai, dekhne waalon ka kya. Yeh sab bhaavnaayein hai. Hum aankadon ko dekhenge.
Uske liye humein sun 1971 mein Sweden jaana padega jahan pe ek pita ne apni 3 saal ke beti ko itna maara ke uski mrityu ho gayi. Aap sochenge ke arey normal log itna nahin maarte to hum iske baat kyon karein.
Mein aisa udaharan isliye le raha hoon kyonki aisa example leke cheezein saaf ho jaati hai, theek se dikhti hai. Is durghatna ke karan itna hungama hua ke July 1, 1979 mein Sweden duniya ka pehla desh bana jisne maata pita ka bachon ko maarna ban kar kiya. Interesting baat aati hai ab. Jab yeh hua to bahut logon ne kaha ke bachon ko maarna band kar denge to bache bigad jayenge aur kuch saalon mein crime bad jayega.
Lekin aisa kuch nahin hua. Sweden mein crime nahin bade. Aaj 40 saal ho gaye hai aur Sweden mein kam hua hai to sirf youth suicide aur drug usage. Hum bachon ko kyon maarte hai? Shayad aap nahin maarte honge. Lekin bahut log maarte hai. Kyon maarte hai. Sabse samaanay jawab milta hai ke 'bache ne sahitani ki' isliye. Lekin shaitani ki to hum pyaar se bhi samjha sakte the, kuch aur bhi kar sakte the. To phir maarna kyon hai?
Mere dimaag mein to do hi kaaran aate hai. - Pehla karan yeh ke maarne waale ka khud pe niyantran nahin hai aur usne gusse mein ek do laga di. Ab bachey paalna aasaan kaam hona chahiye lekin hai nahin to kabhi kabhi gussa bhi aa jaata hai. Agar aapko lagta hai ke maarna galat hai lekin gusse mein maar dete ho to to aapko khud pe hi dhayaan dena hai. Kyonki iska bache se kuch lena dena nahin. - Doosra karan yeh ke maarne waale ko lagta hai ke maarne se bacha sudher jaata hai. maarna zaroori hai. Agar maarenge to jo shaitani bachey ne ki woh band ho jayegi. Bacha sudher jayega. Ab maarne ke karan us ghari mein to shaitani ruk jaati hai. Lekin yeh to dar ke karan hai. Lambey samay mein pitai ka kya asar hota hai? Kya bacha sudherta hai? Ismein hum ikathe baat cheet kar sakte hai.
Pichley 50 saalon mein is prashan par bahut research hui hai. Ek research mein unhone 2 tarah ke bachey liye. Ek jinki pitai hoti thi aur ek jitni kabhi pitai nahin hui. Dono bachon ko MRI machine ke saath jora gaya aur unko tasveerein dikhayi gayi: hasti hui photo aur dhamki waali - dono tarah ki. MRI machine jo seedha dimaag ke signal padti hai, use dekh kar research ne yeh saabit kiya ke jin bachon ko maar padti thi, unka brain dhamki waali photo dekh kar bahut zyada active ho gaya. Woh bache chintit hue aur yeh saabit hua ke pitaai ka dimaag par asar hota hai.
Ek 1997 ki doosri research jo 6-9 saal ke bachon par ki gayi, usse yeh saabit jo bachon ki pitai hoti thi, unka vayavahaar 2 saal ke baad zyada asamaajik ho jaata hai. Aisi bahut saari research hui. Phir 2016 mein ek researcher ne 160,000 bachon pe ki gayi 50 saal ki research ikatha kiya. Un sabko jora to usse yeh saabit hota hai ke maarne ke karan bachon mein - depression - unhappiness - chinta - drugs aur daaru ka istemaal yeh sab badta hai.
Yeh sab cheezein maarne ke karan kyon badti hai uski teen wajah hai jo research ne batayi - pehli wajah hai maa baap ke rishtey ka pitai ke karan kamzor hona - Doosra ek chemical jiska naam cortisol hai uska bache ke shareer mein badna - dimaag mein jo hissa humein tension se deal karne mein madad karta hai, uska pitai ke karan kamm hona To yeh 50 saal ki research ne jo yeh saabit kiya ke maarne ke nuksaan hai. Ab nuksaan to bata diye, lekin hum to faayde dhoond rahe the. To maarne ke faayde kya hai?
Aaj tak poori duniya mein koi bhi research yeh saabit nahin kar paayi hai ke: maarne ka koi bhi faayda hai. Pitai karne ka koi bhi long term faayda aaj tak koi bhi research saabit nahin kar paayi hai. Ek videshi author Astrid Lindgren ne ek kahani sunayi thi jo mein aapko sunana chahata hoon. Unko ek budhi aurat ne yeh kahani batayi thi. Woh budhi aurat ne bataya ke jab woh choti thi to unko lagta tha ke maarna bache ko bada karne ka ek zaroori bhagya hai. Ek din uske chote bete ne kuch kiya jiske karan use laga bete ko saza deni chahiye.
Lekin chari nahin mil rahi thi. To uske bete ko kaha ke jao chari le kar aao. Bacha kaafi time tak gaya raha aur rote rote waapis aaya. Usne kaha - Ma chari nahin mili lekin yeh pathar mila hai jo aap mujpe faink sakte ho. Woh budhi aurat ne bola ke us samay usne pehle baar is paristhiti ko apne bachey ke nazar se dekha. Aur woh bhi rone lagi. Uska samkha ke bache ko laga hoga ke maa mujhe maarna chahati hai to pathar se hi maar le.
Dono mil ke ikathe roye aur ma ne woh pathar rasoi mein rakh liya taaki woh usko hamesha yaar dila sake is cheez ki: ke kuch bhi ho jaaye, kabhi pitai nahin. Jabb bachey ki pitai hoti hai to hum bachey ko kehna chahate hai ke - tumne kuch galat kiya hai, yeh sahi nahin hai. Lekin bachon ko mehsoos hota hai ke mere maa baap mujhse gussa hai aur mujhe pyaar nahin karte. Woh yeh connection nahin kar paate maar ka aur vyavahaar ka.
Ek prashan jo bahut saare parents poochte hai woh yeh ke, agar maare nahin to kya karein? Iske baare mein bhi baat karenge. Lekin abhi ke liya itna hi.
Mera naam Harpreet hai. Aapne mere saath apne bachon ke liye paanch min bitaye iske liye mein aapka shukrguzaar hoon.
Phir milenge.
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